"𝑼𝒑𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝑼"

Do you remember that song? It wasn't as popular as some of Beyonce's others, but it's actually one of my VERY favorites! AND I like a lot of her stuff!

This past week, I was asked my VERY favorite question by a suspicious gentleman.... "Why are you single?"

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 "𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐲" 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬!

I was listening to Derrick Jaxn today, and he was spilling the tea, and giving the truth on what "I've been busy" actually means when a man says it.

𝑺𝒐, 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 “𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚“ 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐.

It was unfortunate that it was a fast conversation, because there are additional things besides money & income that cause & create “𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦”

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆, 𝑩𝑼𝑻 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒛𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒔!

This is or would have been an opportunity for a significant other to come in & be a hero or a Knight in shining armor….but I have none…so “that guy” is me.

Last night, I was in a hurry to get to work & traffic was backed up on Durham, so I cut down a side street to “save time.” The back passenger tire hit a curb & sliced my tire in an ”L” shape.

They honestly do want to be vulnerable & to be able to do this with you. The safety nest & a judgement-free zone will assist, and over time he’ll just start doing it on his own when he trusts you.

𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝑴𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝑽𝒖𝒍𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚!

SO! A few days ago I did a post on “5 hidden insecurities men have”. I appreciated the responses VERY much, because I have sons & other men I love and adore in my life!

It also caused me to reflect, because even though I am a safe space for my sons to be vulnerable, they still have issues with being awkward with it, & I was really concerned about who messed my sons up after my insecurities post! I immediately started studying it!

𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭….𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 “𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞”

5 𝑯𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆.

I’m sharing this because, as women, sometimes we have absolutely NO idea we’re even able to hurt the men we love & adore, at all, because they’re so dang tough & silent. Here’s the truth:

𝑵𝒐 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒋𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒍.”

𝐻𝑂𝑊𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅…．𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ＆ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡．

We don’t care if you need it honestly. Swear !!! In this area, we are results-driven…not process-driven Meaning, we don’t care how lift-off happens…we just gotta figure it out.

I’m going to give some real-life examples of what not to do, what to do, AND how I caught a cheater bonus Because I’m here for you in that way at all times!

𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑼𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒏𝒚 𝑪𝒊𝒓𝒄𝒖𝒎𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝑶𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑯𝒊𝒎!

OMG….just DON’T Do it!

Hear.Me.Out!

My friends think I’m a complete jerk for this & so mean, but when I was actively dating or between boyfriends I developed this rule.

I would say roughly twice a year I give the Facebook one the good ol college try.

Put new pictures up….deleted old ones… checked ten billion year old messages…run through the likes… (I hate that you have to decide right then & can’t save them for later or something)

I’ve answered this before…still getting the question.

Ah well….

I‘ve been laughing at the new Taylor Swift song “Anti-Hero”. “It’s me” Especially when I get the same kind of feedback. We must be connected on a soul level.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒔….

𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝒀 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔!

Initially, you’re probably thinking “Dah”….but it’s really a whole other fascinating thing I get to be apart of!

I literally am watching them turn into men right before my eyes!

Every book I’ve read is coming to life in the most pure form, because they are freshly starting “manhood”

𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒆, 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 & 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝑴𝑬!

It just so happens that this morning I heavily get in a discussion on one of Sean Whalen’s posts AND THEN….he & his wife Sax come out blazing with a podcast this morning I‘ve had experience with.

𝑳𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒃𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈!

While it is usually best to be kind & go with the flow for the most part & on most occasions….

Something about throwing up a boundary & telling men to rise up & quit being a baby works

There’s an interesting conversation circulating around another conversation on one of my former posts:

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑗𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 “𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑢𝑝” ＆ “𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑦𝑙𝑒” 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑚𝑒𝑛．

𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒐 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 & 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒍!

You know when you have a bunch of different connecting strands of Christmas lights & you know and understand what they all are, how they work, AND you even technically know how they’re going to look. BUT! It takes plugging them in, or flipping a switch to give you that “AH!!!” Grizwald moment!

104 KRBE was discussing the dating scene in #Houston #Texas & in general this morning!

𝐷𝑖𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤…𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 “𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔” 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑤𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑢𝑝 𝑛𝑜𝑤？

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝑯𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒆𝒙 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑!

This information absolutely ticked me off the first time I heard it….because I didn’t want to. There was too much resentment & it felt like a bow down & a reward for him that he in no way deserved in my opinion. So I didn’t. So we didn’t. So it ended.

𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 & 𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑽𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒐 𝑫𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝑩𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒐𝒏 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒕!

I attempted to actually research the statistics on this, & found it difficult….so I’m strictly going off of observation & movies at the moment.

𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙞𝙢?

If you’re dating, or have been dating, & you juuuussst can’t get a grip on if he’s after a future, or just fun….ask him this!

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒇 𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 & 𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅?

Well….the short answer is, he’s not trying to play!

That can kind of hit you sideways if you’re accustomed to the opposite. You just have to make the mental & emotional adjustment.